Fear and Loathing
by supersexyninjavampire
Summary: She is the thing he fears most. Will he ever accept her for what she is? Will anybody? Will she accept herself? I suck at summaries. Rated M for mature language and sexual situation (coming soon). Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.


**Author notes: While most of this story** **mainly focuses on Kari and her thoughts, it may shift to encompass other character's points of view as well, which will be indicated by a page break. Also, all thoughts are in italics. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

Kari Croaker stood in King's Cross Station looking at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. This being her second year at Hogwarts she knew what she had to do to get to platform nine and three-quarters, but running straight at a brick wall still felt a bit odd. "Hey Kari," a familiar voice called out to her. Kari turned around to see Hermione Granger saying goodbye to her parents walking towards the platform.

"Hey Hermione, have a good summer?" asked Kari, prompting the other girl to begin a long and detailed recollection of the contents of her summer reading list that lasted all the way through crossing the barrier, weaving across the platform, loading both their trunks, and searching the train for Hermione's other friends.

"And have you heard Gilderoy Lockhart is going to be our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? I've read most of his books already. He's such an amazing wizard!" Hermione said as they gave up the search and settled into an empty compartment near the back of the train. Hermione went on about each of Lockhart's wizarding accomplishments and magical contributions. Kari listened quietly while they waited for the train to leave. Hermione's ability to talk for long periods without needing much input from those around her was one of the things Kari liked most about her. Other people, particularly the other girls that Kari and Hermione shared a dorm with at school, tended to get rather annoyed by Kari's general lack of contribution to conversation. Hermione was perfectly content being the one doing most of the talking. The two had been study partners for the majority of their first year. In fact, almost all of the time Hermione didn't spend running around with Ron Weasley and Harry Potter, she had spent studying with Kari.

At eleven o'clock a whistle blew and the train took off down the track. Hermione was looking around nervously. She was concerned that she hadn't seen Harry on Ron by now and decided to check the train again, leaving Kari alone with her thoughts. Kari has always found it strange how much she disliked being left alone. She was so quiet that the presence of others shouldn't have made much difference. Plus she always felt like she should be used to it by now, considering how often she was alone at home. Her father never liked to be near her if he could help it. To him, Kari was a living reminder of one of his worst mistakes. Her mother had been a banshee that was held captive in the Department of Mysteries, where her father worked as an Unspeakable. Her father had forbidden her from ever telling anyone anything about herself or her mother. When Kari was eight, she was injured during a trip to the Ministry. When the neighbors had started asking about what had happened, her father went so far as to move all the way from London to Wicklow Ireland, where the official public story became that his 'wife' had died during a car accident with Kari in the car. Still, when Kari and her father were alone together, he would never waist an opportunity to remind her of exactly what she was, and how disgusting it made her.

The compartment door opened, snapping Kari back from her thoughts. A girl wearing a Hufflepuff uniform poked her head in. "Mind if I join you?" the girl asked, "the guys I was with are being idiots."

"Sure," Kari replied, secretly relieved by her presence. The other girl sat across from her. Kari stuck out her hand and introduced herself, "Kari Croaker, Gryffindor."

"Hannah Abbott, Hufflepuff," Hannah shook Kari's hand. "You haven't changed yet? Better hurry or all the changing rooms will be taken."

"Oh, it's that late already? Honestly I was a bit spaced out until you came in," Kari laughed. "Doesn't matter much, I don't really need to use a changing room." Apparently she had been spaced out for the majority of the ride, because shades of orange and red had started to cover the sky. She slipped her uniform on over her ratty t-shirt and shorts. Kari was skinny enough that nobody would be able to tell she still had her street clothes on. She was so thin in fact, that if she didn't layer her clothes this way, she would look almost malnourished. "So, why did you ditch your other compartment?"

Suddenly Hannah became very animated, "My friend Justin kept saying The Beetles are overrated! Can you believe that?! I mean, I'm willing to put up with a lot, but bad-talking the best band in history is just unforgivable! I can't even deal with him right now."

"Who are the-" Kari started to ask, but she was cut off by an even more animated Hannah.

"Oh don't you start about how much better you think The Who is. The Who may be one of the classics but so are The Beetles, and The Beetles are WAYYY better."

"What are you talking about?" Kari asked, thoroughly confused.

"What do you mean what am I talking about?"

"Why are you so mad about beetles and who are the Who?"

"You've never heard of The Beetles?!" Hannah was dumbfounded. "How can you not know who The Beetles are? I mean, they may be a muggle band but ever since the lead singer of the Weird Sisters talked about them in an interview they've been all over the wizarding wireless. Everyone knows about The Beetles."

"Oh, I'm not really allowed to listen to the wireless. My dad doesn't like anything that makes too much noise." _Well,_ Kari thought to herself, _he really just doesn't like_ _ **me**_ _doing anything to make too much noise, but oh well, same difference._

"Merlin's beard, how have you survived? How are you still sane?!" With this, Hannah seemed to realize how loud she had gotten (she had been practically shouting at this point) and her cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink. "I-… um-… I mean-… sorry…" she mumbled sheepishly.

Kari was quiet for a moment, stunned slightly by the swiftness of Hannah's behavioral change. After their moment of shared awkwardness, the girls looked at each other and started laughing. "So, who are The Beetles?" The girls spent the last two hours of the train ride talking about music. Hannah took out a small muggle CD player and gave Kari a sample of her incredibly vast CD collection.

When the train arrived at Hogsmeade Station, the girls started to make their way to the carriages that took the returning students to Hogwarts. As they left the train, Hermione came running towards them. "Hey Kari, sorry I ditched you like that earlier. I couldn't find Ron or Harry anywhere. The rest of Ron's family was on the train but I think they must have missed it somehow. We were trying to figure out what we should do," Hermione said. They approached the carriage loading area.

As the carriages came into full view, Kari froze. Tethered to the front of each carriage was a large, winged, skeletal looking, horse-like creature. "Um… Hermione?" Kari asked cautiously, "didn't you say earlier that the carriages were self-pulling?"

"Yeah, they are. What about it?"

"Then what are those?"

Hermione looked at Kari like she was crazy. "What are you talking about? There's nothing there."

 _They can't see them,_ Kari realized. "Oh, it's nothing. Never mind," she said, deciding against pressing the issue. Hermione looked unconvinced but dropped the subject, and the girls boarded a carriage.

When they arrived at Hogwarts they saw Professor Flitwick supervising the arriving students. Hermione ran to him, presumably to tell him about Ron and Harry. Kari went to check in as well. When he saw her, Professor Flitwick told Kari that Professor McGonagall wanted to talk to her after the welcoming feast. Kari was about to reply, when suddenly a flying car came barreling overhead and nearly crashed into one of the school towers before disappearing behind the school. The other students started shouting and getting out of hand so Professor Flitwick ran off to control the situation.

The main subject of conversation during the feast was the flying car that had nearly crashed into the castle. Apparently Ron and Harry had been the ones in the car, and had wound up crashing into the Whomping Willow. After the sorting, Professor Dumbledore even gave a short commentary about the incident. The staff was clearly not as amused by Ron and Harry's little stunt as the students were. Hermione was incredibly anxious throughout the feast. She ended up leaving early to go make sure the boys were ok. Professor McGonagall rejoined the feast from lecturing Ron and Harry right as Hermione was leaving. When the Prefects started showing the first-years to the dorms, Kari went to talk to Professor McGonagall. "Excuse me, Ma'am, Professor Flitwick said you wanted to talk to me," Kari said.

"Oh yes, Miss Croaker. If you would, please follow me to my office," McGonagall said, leading the way out of the dining hall. McGonagall asked Kari to take a seat. McGonagall cleared her throat, shifting awkwardly. In fact, she seemed so uncomfortable that Kari thought she could smell it in the air around her.

"Is everything alright Professor?" Kari asked.

Kari was a bit concerned; Professor McGonagall was hardly the type to beat around the bush. "Everything is fine, just trying to decide where to begin," McGonagall sighed. "Might as well jump right in, has anyone had a talk with you about the changes people go through around your age?"

 _Fuck,_ _is she trying to give me the puberty/sex talk?!_ Kari thought to herself. "Professor, I already know about puberty and all that, if that's what you mean."

"Did your father talk to you about it?" McGonagall asked skeptically. She knew that Kari and her father didn't exactly get along. In fact, she was aware of most of the details of Kari's life.

"No, I kept in touch with one of the healers from St. Mungo's."

"Ah. Well, due to the events of last year, it has come to our attention that you may be more than just the typical changes of adolescence. We have reason to believe that your banshee blood is having more of an effect than we had originally thought. Do you remember when you reported a strange rotting smell in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom?"

"Wait, what does that have to do with anything?" Kari was getting worried. _You're not enough of a witch after all,_ a small voice in the back of her head told her, _they're sending you back. Banshees don't belong at a wizard's school._

"Professor Quirrell had let himself become the host of a corrupted soul, which had attached itself to him like a parasite."

"Under the turban," Kari interjected, remembering the strange wrongness she had felt emanating from the thing during each lesson.

"Exactly. The other professors and myself believe it was the development of the traits you have inherited from your mother that caused you to notice something wrong with Professor Quirrell. For this reason-" Kari held her breath as the Professor spoke, "-we have decided that for the safety of the other students and yourself-"

 _This is it,_ Kari thought, _I'm going to be expelled._

"-to have you take an extra lesson at the end of each week to help you learn to manage your abilities until such a time when you can control them safely on your own. You will also need to meet with Professor Snape every few days to receive a potion that will help with your changing needs." When McGonagall finished speaking, Kari nearly choked on the breath she had been holding.

"You aren't kicking me out?" Kari coughed.

"Why would I? You have done nothing bad enough to merit expulsion," McGonagall said, surprised by the conclusion that her student had come to. Surprise and relief hit Kari so hard that she had to consciously stop herself from collapsing back into her seat or calling out in elation. "Anyways, you will meet with Professor Snape in his office after dinner at eight o'clock on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. You will meet me here in my office at five o'clock every Saturday for your extra lessons. Now, it's late, off to bed. The new password is 'Wattlebird'." Then she sent Kari through a portrait that connected to the Gryffindor common room. Kari went up the stairs to the girls' dorm, found the second year's room, found her bed, and prepared her school bag for the start of a new year.


End file.
